LAUREL COUNTY, Ky. — As I overheard first-time parents converse about the trouble they are anticipating when their spit-bubble blowing bundle of joy hits his teens, I gathered that it was evident their trust was going to look like lock-down at Alcatraz.  With no violence of course, they are nice people.

Trust is hard to come by and while in my angst-filled teen years, I learned that the hard way as friends I knew for years broke that golden bond of verbal trust over and over.  In addition, I naively offered it time and time again.  But what remained strong was the trust my parents offered to me, freely and for that I am thankful.  Albeit, I’m not going to say I never made a mistake, because I did and so will all human beings.

Mistakes are a part of growing up, but parents need to offer advice on why their children need to choose their moral battles.  I was offered many rules, but without reason.  Rules without reason breeds curiosity, and curiosity can lead to a path of self discovery or self destruction.  I surely am not condoning teens a free-ticket to make a mistake, but to wisely weigh the repercussions of their choices.  I recently read an online post from an influential pastor in the Christian community stating, “Dear fathers, if your daughter is dating a loser, feel free to dump him for her and take her out yourself,” I wish my dad would have known that--because I would have never turned him down.  

A father’s love for their children can influence them more than a father can fathom.  Many times, I wish my father could have known how much I yearned for him to take me out for a drive in his cool, antique cars, out of the blue ask me if I wanted to grab a bite to eat or tell me he didn’t want me to date the good looking loser that grinned like a wolf and looked at me like a piece of meat at the dinner table.  However, I am pretty good at hiding my feelings and it goes both ways.

Now, as an adult I’ve become very wise from my naive mistakes but I’ve paid a weighty moral price for them.  I no longer push my parents away like a common teenager who thinks no one understands my strife, and I do my best to make up for my disrespect.  I have a boyfriend who smiles at me like a daughter of God and guards my heart.  My father has begun to call me more often, and surprises me every time he does--I’m not going to lie, it makes my eyes water with tears of joy to hear from him.  Both of my parents are nice people, no, they are wonderful people, and, like those first-time parents, they thought lock-down was the answer.

 Children may not always tell their parents everything, but it’s up to parents to not be as naive as they are.  It’s also important to establish trust, no matter the circumstance, no matter the difficulty.



mmccrarey@sentinel-echo.com