LAUREL COUNTY, Ky. — Loretta and I just pulled four days within the friendly confines of Saint Joseph’s hospital in Lexington.

    But this time, I was not the patient.  I stayed with her and slept on a recliner beside her bed simply because that’s where I wanted to be, whether I was needed or not.  

Lo had to have her thyroid gland removed and the surgery turned out to be rather more involved and complicated than we or the doctors had anticipated.  I will spare you the more precise details.  Suffice to say that a nerve was in the way because it wasn’t where it was supposed to be and there was a mass of scar tissue to contend with from surgery she’d undergone 30 years ago.

The end result was a far more intense and lasting pain than usually happens with this sort of surgery and, for the last week, my wife has literally been rendered speechless.  The good news is they didn’t find cancer which was our biggest worry going in.  The other good news is that she can take synthyroid, a medication that replaces all the stuff her thyroid produced naturally.  

However, her vocal cords took a beating during the surgery and it may be weeks before she gets her voice back.  It’s like having the worse case of laryngitis imaginable.  And, if you know my wife, you also know she does so love to do some talking.  

For the first several days, post surgery, she was in such intense pain that she stayed pretty much knocked out with opiates.  She would not have been coherent if she had been able to vocalize. But the pain has gradually subsided and/or she has adjusted to it to the point that she only needs strong medicine at bed time and she has absolutely no plans for getting the prescription refilled.

I’m not the least bit worried that Loretta will become addicted to pain killers. My wife is one of those people who stay so naturally high on life she neither needs nor wants any artificial stimulation.  I’ve have never seen her even slightly inebriated on alcohol, for instance, and, to my knowledge, the stuff she’s been taking for this go around with pain is the only thing she’s ever ingested  that  made her loopy.

In the meantime, I am scared she will become addicted to Facebook.  Loretta literally has to be communicating with someone, somehow, during most of the time she’s awake.  It’s not uncommon for my buddy Ralph to call to ask me something and for Loretta to answer the phone, whereupon they spend 30 minutes in conversation.  

Loretta will finally yell to tell me Ralph is on the phone and when I pick up, he will say “I was gonna ask you something but I got to talking to your lovely wife and now I’ve completely forgot what I called you about.  Seemed important at the time but it must not have been.  Oh well......”

Or one of my brothers will call, and the same thing happens with them.  Loretta will finally yell that Keeter’s on the phone. When I pick up, Keith will say, “I just called to see how you’re doing but Loretta has already filled me in. Glad to hear you’re having regular bowel movements again.”  

So, you might reasonably think that I’m pleased  with the relative quiet in our home brought on by my wife’s temporary inability to jabber.  But the truth of the matter is I miss it terribly and I can hardly wait for her to be yelling at me and restore the normalcy to our household.

If you have time on your hands, drop her a note or a get well card in the mail.  I can’t think of anybody who would appreciate it more.  The address is 249 Charlie Brown Road, Paint Lick, Ky. 40461.

 

ikeadams@aol.com