LAUREL COUNTY, Ky. —
It was while skiing with my parents this winter that I considered Peter may be on to something. We had slept in later than my parents, and when we awoke breakfast was in full swing. As we sleepily stepped into the kitchen, I noticed my mom holding a paper towel to her hand, which William immediately stopped to inspect.
“Cut myself,” she said, shrugging it off.
“Let me guess. Avocado?” William said.
“Yes!” she replied, aghast. “How did you know?”
Peter looked at me and I slinked off.
I guess the weakest part of Peter’s assertion is he has decided women everywhere are bad at cutting bread and not just my mom and I. I know he’s traveled a lot, but he couldn’t possibly have seen every woman mangle a loaf to prove this claim. So I’m going to conduct a little experiment tonight and have my stepdaughter Gabrielle, who shares no genetic material with me, go at it and see how it goes. I’m hoping for a straight edge — for women everywhere.