ALFORD: <span>What can we learn from a mule? Quite a bit if we’ll just listen</span>  


Some very clever person has put together a Top 10 list of reasons farm trucks almost never get stolen, and I just knew you’d want to hear them.

So here we go:

No. 10: They only have about 10 miles before they overheat, break down or run out of gas.

No. 9: Only the owner knows how to open the door to get in or out.

No. 8: It’s impossible to make a quick getaway with all the fence tools, grease rags, ropes, chains, syringes, buckets, boots and empty feed sacks in the cab.

No. 7: It takes too long to start the thing, and the smoke coming up through the rusted-out floorboard clouds your vision.

No 6: The border collie on the toolbox looks mean.

No. 5: They're too easy to find. The description might go something like: Driver's side door is red; passenger side door is green; the right front fender is yellow; and, of course, the tailgate is missing.

No. 4: The hay bales in the back make it hard to see if you're being chased.

No. 3: Top speed is approximately 45 mph.

No. 2: No one wants to steal a truck that needs a year’s worth of maintenance, from squeaky U-joints, to broken tail lights, to cracked windshield.

No. 1: It’s hard to make a clean getaway with everyone waving at you.

Farm trucks may not always look like much, but they sure are useful. They can be counted on for most every need, from hauling trash to feeding cows to pulling hay wagons. They’re the work horses of the automobile world. It’s OK to get them dirty. They do the grunt work out in the mud and the weeds.

You know, we could use lots of “farm truck people” these days – the kind of people who don’t mind getting out and working, even if it means getting muddy or mired.

That’s a biblical principle, you know. Scripture has strong words for lazy people who don’t pull their own weight.

“If any would not work, neither should he eat” (2 Thessalonians 3:10).

That may seem harsh, but God clearly feels strongly about people having a strong work ethic. He’s especially tough on fathers who don’t take proper care of their children, either by refusing to work to earn a living for them or for refusing to exercise proper care for them.

“If any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel” (1 Timothy 5:8).

Yes, those hard-working old farm trucks may not be the cleanest or fanciest vehicles on the road, but they certainly serve a needed purpose. They deserve our respect. And so do the people who drive them.

Reach Roger Alford at 502-514-6857 or

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